Who am I?

I encourage you to read through this and decide for yourself who I really am.

 

Sometimes I get so weird, I even freak myself out. I laugh myself to sleep, it’s my lullaby. Sometimes I drive so fast, Just to feel the danger. I wanna scream, “it makes me feel alive”. (1) But I’m not crazy, I’m just a little unwell. I know, right now you can’t tell, But stay awhile and maybe then you’ll see a different side of me. I’m not crazy, I’m just a little impaired. I know, right now you don’t care, But soon enough you’re gonna think of me, And how I used to be…me. (2)

What can you do when your good isn’t good enough? When all that you touch tumbles down? ‘Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things I just wanna fix it somehow. But how many times will it take? Oh, how many times will it take for me? To get it right, to get it right? (3) Let down your defenses, use no common sense if you look you will see that this world is beautiful, accidents, turbulent, succulent opulent, permanent, and no way I wanna taste it. Don’t wanna waste it away. (4) Sometimes I get so weird I even freak myself out I laugh my self to sleep It’s my lullaby Is it enough? Is it enough? Is it enough to breathe? Somebody rip my heart out, and leave me here to bleed. Is it enough to die? Somebody save my life I’d rather be anything but ordinary please. (1)

All day staring at the ceiling, making friends with shadows on my wall. All night hearing voices telling me, that I should get some sleep, because tomorrow might be good for something. Hold on, feeling like I’m heading for a breakdown, and I don’t know why.  (2) So I throw up my fist, throw a punch in the air, and accept the truth, that sometimes life isn’t fair. Yeah, I’ll send down a wish. Yeah, I’ll send up a prayer, and finally, someone will see how much I care. What can you do when your good isn’t good enough? When all that you touch tumbles down? Oh my best intentions keep making a mess of things. I just wanna fix it somehow, but how many times will it take? (3)

So when will this end, It goes on and on, over and over and over again. Keep spinning around I know that it won’t stop, till I step down from this for good. If shame had a face I think it would kind of look like mine. If it had a home would it be my eyes. Would you believe me if I said I’m tired of this. Well here we go now one more time. ‘Cause I try to climb your steps, I try to chase you down. I try to see how low I can get down to the ground. And I try to earn my way, I try to change this mind. You better believe that I am trying to beat this. (5)

1.) Avril Lagvine “Losing Grip” 2.) Matchbox 20 “Unwell 3.) Glee “Get It Right” 4.) Avril Lagvine “Anything But Ordinary” 5.) Lifehouse “Sick Cycle Carousel.

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